My course will teach you how you can live free without becoming caught up in the narcissist’s endless mind games.
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This course will teach you how you can live free without becoming caught up in the narcissist’s endless mind games.
Here’s how and why I can make you this promise
If you’re in a difficult relationship, whether it be personal or in the workplace, does this sound familiar to you:
The narcissist forgets or begrudges your free will. Everything must be their way. They must be in control.
This leads to arguments, anger and anxiety. Maybe you feel like you are always on the defensive.
If this sounds familiar with you then this will be the most important thing you read all year.
Here’s why …
I’ve developed a brand new, exclusive course called Free to Be.
The narcissist wants to control your free will and keep you on their fixed agenda. This course will teach you how you can live free without becoming caught up in the narcissist’s endless mind games.
My new course teaches you how to break the narcissist’s control so you can live free.
By the end of the course you will be able to:
End unproductive, go-nowhere arguments
End self-doubt and stop second-guessing your good decisions
Become a less-guarded, more relaxed and more authentic person
END OF YEAR SPECIAL
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What are 3 problems this course will help solve?
Identifying the emotional strains associated with controlling relationships, then identifying how to manage those emotions cleanly.
Recognizing the why's of a controller's behaviors...aiding the student to become objective about relationship traps
Knowing how and when to set relationship boundaries.
What are 3 questions the course helps to answer?
Exactly what does it mean to be a free person?
How will my life change for the better as I become more calm, authentic, and confident in my responses to others' unwanted control?
What are the major psychological barriers to living a life of freedom, and how to I break through those barriers?
What are 3 roadblocks the course will help students overcome?
Circular offense/defense conversations
Hidden insecurities caused by an imposed agenda
Cautious, calculated thinking and communicating - (okay, that's 4)
Lesson 1.1 - The Requirement of Conformity
Lesson 1.2 - Blame and Shame
Lesson 1.3 - Crooked Communication
Lesson 1.4 - Defensive Posturing
Lesson 1.5 - A Punishing Spirit
Lesson 1.6 - Raw Selfishness
Lesson 1.7 - Key Takeaways
Lesson 2.1 - An Agenda Driven Life
Lesson 2.2 - When We Differ, Who Gets to Decide What's Next?
Lesson 2.3 - Life is Not Always Black and White
Lesson 2.4 - Here Comes the Justifications
Lesson 2.5 - Listening to What Your Emotions Say About the Controllers Agenda
Lesson 2.6 - The "I Refuse" Response to the Controller
Lesson 3.1 - 7 Principles for a Life of Freedom
Lesson 3.2 - Freedom Principle #1: Intrapersonal Issues Take Priority Over Performances
Lesson 3.3 - Freedom Principle #2: Uniqueness in Feelings, Thoughts and Perceptions are Inevitable
Lesson 3.4 - Freedom Principle #3: Freedom Can Become a Path to Greater Order
Lesson 3.5 - Freedom Principle #4: Mistakes and Weaknesses are Apart of Humanity
Lesson 3.6 - Freedom Principle #5: Individuals Respond More Powerfully to Implied Messages Rather Than Spoken Words
Lesson 3.7 - Freedom Principle #6: Smart Free People Understand That Each Choice is Followed by Consequences
Lesson 3.8 - Freedom Principle #7: Patience is Given Priority Over a Demanding Attitude
Lesson 3.9 - Summarizing the 7 Freedom Principles
Lesson 4.1 - The Art of Unhooking From a Controller
Lesson 4.2 - Breaking Out of the Trap of Emotional Dependence
Lesson 4.3 - What Your Emotional Competence Leads To
Lesson 4.4 - The Art of Delicate Detachment
Lesson 4.5 - Contemplative Thinking
Lesson 4.6 - Holding Steady with Calm Firmness
Lesson 5.1 - Why Do Controllers Feel the Need to Control?
Lesson 5.2 - What Controllers Fear From You
Lesson 5.3 - The Controllers Need for Your Deference
Lesson 5.4 - Psychological Laziness
Lesson 5.5 - The Controllers Win/Lose Paradigm
Lesson 5.6 - The Controllers Lack of Openness to New Ways
Lesson 6.1 - Freedom and the Healthy Life
Lesson 6.2 - Freedom Means Accepting What Is
Lesson 6.3 - Authenticity is Crucial
Lesson 6.4 - Freedom Leads to Influence
Lesson 6.5 - Balanced Freedom Brings Meaning and Purpose
- What is this course all about?
The central tension in any strained relationship is the struggle for control. Each person possesses a free will, something a controller either begrudges in others or forgets. This sets up the potential for anger, arguments, defensiveness, rebellion, anxiety, and power grabs. The "Free To Be" course teaches how each person can live with free will leading the way, without becoming ensnared by unhealthy control/counter-control games.
- Is the course self-paced or do I need to be available for specific times?
Great question! This course is 100% self-paced so you can access the material on your own time and at your own speed.
- Who is this course specifically for?
Adults trying to come to terms with controllers who wish to keep them on a fixed agenda. This could include marriage partners, adult children of controlling parents, siblings, those with an impossible boss, and those inside tightly managed organizations.
- What can your audience expect inside the course itself? How many modules, lessons, videos, and hours?
The course consists of six distinct modules, each addressing a particular topic. The modules consist of anywhere from 5-9 lessons. (About 38 in all.) The lessons are presented with a written format and a video accompanying each written lesson. Most video lessons are approximately seven minutes. In total the webinar features almost 5 hours of videos. The central feature of the webinar is the Personal Reflection questions at the end of each video. These questions guide the student toward personalized pragmatic applications drawn from each lesson. It is crucial to understand that the lessons are more than just talking points, but designed for individualized personal introspection.
- What if this course is not right for me?
We understand that not every course is right for everyone. We will be providing a pro rated refund policy based on the amount of the course completed prior to the start of module 3. If you have questions about refunds, feel free to reach out the Dr. Carter and Laura directly via email at [email protected]
Please note, the payment on your charge will show up as “InfluenceLogic”, a marketing company, so there will be no trace of this course for your controller to see on your billing statement.
Meet Your Instructor
Dr. Les Carter
Dr. Les Carter’s passion is working one on one with individuals in his counseling office. He has been in the private practice of counseling since 1980 when he completed his Ph.D. in Clinical Counseling at the University of North Texas. Prior, he had received his master’s degree at UNT, and in 1976 he had completed his B.A. in Psychology at Baylor University in Waco, Tx. In 2018, along with Laura Charanza, he cofounded the SurvivingNarcissism YouTube channel and the Dr. Les Carter YouTube channel. His words: “In my history of conducting anger workshops, it became abundantly clear that self absorption, control cravings, and the lack of empathy were at the base of most interpersonal problems. So my therapeutic focus went deeper into the direction of understanding narcissism as a means of finding resolution to mood and relationship strains.” YouTube has provided the perfect platform for communicating his insights about narcissism. His goal is simple, explain narcissism and its powerful impact upon relationships, then offer alternatives for healthy living.
Carter, psychotherapist and author of more than 20 books, addresses one of the diciest subjects in the evangelical world: divorce. Christians, he says, ought not to treat divorcees as second-class citizens, intrusively question them about the "biblical grounds" for their divorce or pretend they have nothing left to offer their church or friends (all of which happen regularly, according to examples Carter cites from his counseling experience). Exactly how Christians should respond is less clear, aside from a general directive to recognize that we all fail to fully live up to Christian standards and thus need to respond with grace. Carter directs that divorces or those headed toward divorce--even when clearly abusing their new-found freedom--should not be confronted until after they have been allowed to share in depth their pain and perspective, whether this takes "ten minutes... or ten months." He cautions strongly against the urge to guide someone in how they should proceed, believing that this kind of "imperative thinking" displays self-centeredness and a desire for control. While the book is a thoughtful approach to a difficult topic, many readers will feel that Carter is so grace-focused as to be off-balance. Serious readers looking for advice on how to best approach friends on the subject will be perplexed by the lack of specific instruction. (Dec.) (Publishers Weekly, November 8, 2004)
From the Inside Flap
Grace and Divorce, written by noted author and psychotherapist, Dr. Les Carter, author of The Anger Trap, provides sound theological thinking on divorce and wise and compassionate suggestions for reframing and deepening our understanding of this difficult and controversial topic. Using stories from his practice as a therapist, Dr. Carter offers healing to both those who divorce and those who know and love them. He explains that Jesus never intended us to be so fixed about right and wrong and so judgmental that we lose the ability to love those who do not meet His perfect standards. With kindness and love, he shows that the wonderful gift of God's grace is the best way to respond to people facing this trying life challenge.
In Grace and Divorce, Dr. Carter reveals how Christians can both uphold the ideals of marriage and provide support and love for people in the throes of divorce. The grace of God is not limited to those who are perfect; it is poured out on all of us, regardless of our failings.
From the Back Cover
"Many divorced people within the Christian community are held hostage to the letter of the law, which can rob them of the freedom experienced through grace and forgiveness. Without compromising scriptural truths related to divorce, the author confronts the reality that many marriages are destined to fail. Instead of rejection, he encourages a ministry of grace to divorced persons with a reference to Jesus' emphasis on personal needs over rules. This book is long overdue. It will be an invaluable purchase, and a gift of grace, for those experiencing both the pain of divorce and the disapproval of fellow believers."
?Freda V. Crews, D.Min., Ph.D., host of the internationally syndicated television program Time for Hope
"Finally someone wrote the book that many of us have been waiting to read. . . . While upholding lifelong marriage as the ideal, Dr. Carter exposes the true dilemma the divorced face?rejection by their church family and abandonment by the very institution that has been their spiritual home for years. Reminding us there are real people behind every failed marriage, Dr. Carter draws a distinction between the law with its capacity to wound and God's grace with its power to heal. . . .Grace and Divorce is compelling, truthful yet compassionate, comprehensive, and biblically based."
?Kari West, author, When He Leaves and founder of Take Hope to Heart
"At last! Grace and Divorce achieves harmonious balance of biblical doctrine and biblical grace toward divorce. This is a very practical, user-friendly book that pastors, counselors, and church leaders will turn to again and again as they minister to hurting people."
?Steve Grissom, founder, DivorceCare
About the Author
Les Carter, Ph.D., is the senior psychotherapist at the Minirth Clinic, Richardson, Texas, where he has maintained a private counseling practice since 1980. He is a nationally recognized expert on topics including conflict resolution, emotions and spirituality, and marriage and family relationships. He is the author of twenty books including the bestselling The Anger Workbook, The Anger Trap, The Anger Workbook for Christian Parents, and The Freedom From Depression Workbook. Dr. Carter can be reached at www.angerexpert.com.
Enough about You, Let's Talk about Me: How to Recognize and Manage the Narcissists in Your Life
Those who are in the unenviable position of living or working with a narcissist have learned by sad trial and error that they are the only one in the relationship who can change the dynamic. Certainly narcissists don't think they need to change. EnoughAbout You, Let's Talk About Me is a hands-on resource for helping colleagues, families, and spouses deal with people who eThose who are in the unenviable position of living or working with a narcissist have learned by sad trial and error that they are the only one in the relationship who can change the dynamic. Certainly narcissists don't think they need to change. EnoughAbout You, Let's Talk About Me is a hands-on resource for helping colleagues, families, and spouses deal with people who exhibit narcissistic tendencies by learning how to change their own attitudes and responses....more
Hardcover, 191 pages
Published September 1st 2005 by Jossey-Bass (first published 2005)
Similar authors to follow
A field guide to understanding and managing anger--what it is, where it comes from, and how to get it under control.
Many people assume that anger is the emotion that leads to raised voices and violence, and this kind of explosive rage is certainly a reality. But there are many different types of anger, from the simmering to the shutting down. Most of us experience some form of anger or its effects. The good news is that anger can be controlled.
Founded on thirteen faith-based steps designed to recognize and manage anger, The Anger Workbook is an interactive guide to transforming patterns and behaviors with the help of biblical principles and evidence-based treatment.
Best-selling author and practicing counselor Les Carter, Ph.D. and author and Christian psychiatrist Frank Minirth, M.D. draw on their years of experience and expertise to demystify the problem of anger. Throughout this workbook, you will learn:
- How to identify situational anger in yourself or others as well as patterns of relating, thinking, and behaving that may lead to feelings of anger
- How emotions like fear, loneliness, and inferiority create anger
- How to uncover and eliminate myths that perpetuate anger such as, "Letting go of my anger means I am conceding defeat." Or "No one understand my unique problems."
- For parents: how to manage a child's anger
As we get to know and understand anger--whether it's our own or a loved one's--its management becomes far less daunting. Anger can be controlled.
Carter reviews les dr
I’m Dr. Les Carter, author, psychotherapist, and speaker.
Having a wholehearted enthusiasm to meet people at their point of need, I work to become an embodiment of encouragement and grace. Discovering truth and insight is a good thing – however, living it is even better.
I’m privileged to be a best selling author, having written 20 books on emotionally healthy living, including:
The Anger Trap
Enough About You, Let’s Talk About Me
The Anger Workbook
When Pleasing You Is Killing Me
I’m also the founder of MarriagePath, a comprehensive and effective approach to marital restoration and growth. You can find a few of my MarriagePath Podcasts on this site. To view all of the podcast episodes visit MarriagePath.com.
I’ve appeared in over 3000 radio broadcasts including 11 years with call-in talk show, “The Minirth-Meier Clinic.” I’ve conducted seminars and workshops across America, including:
The Anger Workshop
The Emotional Awareness Seminar Series
Managing Conflict in the Workplace.
As a psychotherapist I’ve been in private practice since 1980 concentrating on going beyond the teaching of good people skills (as important as that is), giving special attention to the meaning of emotions and behaviors in such a way to reflect core values and guiding principles. I emphasize conceptual thinking as a means of informing and shaping life habits. My specialty is in the treatment of mood disorders such as anxiety and depression, with a special expertise in anger management, marital counseling and extramarital affairs.
Early in my career I began teaching classes on anger management and conflict resolution. Since marriage and family is a common arena for conflict, my specialty includes marital and family communications.
I graduated from Baylor University in 1976 and completed my M.Ed. and Ph.D. degrees from North Texas State University in 1980. In my 25 years with The Minirth-Meier Clinic I specialized in bringing the worlds of psychology and spirituality into harmony.
Now at the Southlake Psychiatric and Counseling Center my work continues with psychotherapy taking up the bulk of my time. By now I have had close to 60,000 sessions with individuals and couples.
About Dr. Les Carter
Dr. Les Carter’s passion is working one on one with individuals in his counseling office. He has been in the private practice of counseling since 1980 when he completed his Ph.D. in Clinical Counseling at the University of North Texas. Prior, he had received his master’s degree at UNT, and in 1976 he had completed his B.A. in Psychology at Baylor University in Waco, Tx.
Are you looking for counseling with Dr. Carter? Dr. Carter no longer provides one on one counseling, but he has a vetted sponsor who can assist.Start Counseling Here
*Please note our organization receives compensation when you use the link above.
Once graduate school was complete, he joined the renowned Minirth-Meier Clinic in suburban Dallas, Texas where he remained for 25 years. There he specialized in anger management, working with older adolescents and adults. Through those years he conducted many Anger Workshops and authored books about anger and other mood disorders. His Anger Workbook sold over 500,000 copies and in all he authored or coauthored twenty books. Various of those books have been translated into 10 foreign languages. Along with the Minirth-Meier team he participated in about 3000 radio broadcasts, mostly of the call-in talk show variety.
The son of an Army chaplain who later worked in prison chaplaincy and mental health specialties, Les Carter had front row experiences throughout his youth with programs touching the families of those who needed psychological assistance most. It was an easy decision for him to enter the field of psychotherapy when it was time to choose a career. He has a twin brother, Lee, who is a forensic psychologist in Waco, Tx. The two brothers spend hours comparing notes and talking shop.
In 2005, Dr. Carter cofounded the Southlake Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Southlake, Texas (near Dallas). He has continued his counseling there and in his career has logged over 65,000 counseling sessions. “I know it may seem strange,” he has explained, “but I prefer taking difficult cases because that’s where we find the highest potential for therapeutic growth.” He has a reputation as compassionate, firm, and uplifting.
In 2018, along with Laura Charanza, he cofounded the SurvivingNarcissism YouTube channel and the Dr. Les Carter YouTube channel. His words: “In my history of conducting anger workshops, it became abundantly clear that self absorption, control cravings, and the lack of empathy were at the base of most interpersonal problems. So my therapeutic focus went deeper into the direction of understanding narcissism as a means of finding resolution to mood and relationship strains.” YouTube has provided the perfect platform for communicating his insights about narcissism. His goal is simple, explain narcissism and its powerful impact upon relationships, then offer alternatives for healthy living.
Read Dr. Carter’s archives.
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Oh, what you won't go for, for the sake of love. I had to put on white pants and polo. And canvas shoes. Otherwise, the image will be incomplete.