Scp test log

Scp test log DEFAULT

Note to all Researchers: Please include your name on all records, along with date and total number of items "refined".

Researchers are responsible for all "Output". Should damage or loss of life occur, the researcher will be subject to administrative review and possible disciplinary action.

Biological testing has been suspended. Any biological testing must be cleared by O5 Command.

Test Log Format: All test logs should be written in this form. Name:Date: DD/MM/YYYY Total Items:


010X Test Logs[]

Test 11828-U5: Tests on the nature and construction of SCP-914

With approval from O5 Command, a single gear was removed from one of the "outer" sections of SCP-914. Placement was carefully documented, and was in a location that would not release tension on any belts or damage any documented sections. Testing area was cleared and sealed after placing a steel block in the "intake" booth. D-00104 was dispatched to SCP-914, and instructed to turn the key and activate SCP-914.

D-00104 reported that "the key won't catch", and the key was observed to turn several times without tightening the mainspring. No activity of any kind was observed from SCP-914 during this time.

Missing gear was replaced with an identical copy, comprised of the same metal (brass) as the original. Steel block re-inserted into the "intake" booth, and SCP-914 was activated on the "1:1" setting. SCP-914 observed to operate normally, with a slight pause of 3.5 seconds after winding the key. After "refining", Output observed to be a solid steel sphere with the same volume as the original steel block. Original gear returned to SCP-914.

Note: Well, thank god we can at least repair the damn thing if we damage it… assuming we can find what's broken in it. Hell, maybe it's already broken, I don't know… this damn thing hurts my head… - Dr. ██████████

Test 914-0101Name: Dr. Gears Date: ██/██/20██ Total Items: 4x clockwork pocket watch, belonging to Dr. Gears

Input: 1x gold-plated pocket watch Setting: Fine Output: Small clockwork bird. When the tail is pressed, it produces a robin's call.

Input: 1x gold-plated pocket watch Setting: Fine Output: Toy clockwork train engine.

Input: 1 gold-plated pocket watch Setting: Fine Output: Miniature grandfather clock, fully functional.

Input: 1 gold-plated pocket watch Setting: Fine Output: Small metal sculpture of a piano.

Note: It appears there is a high level of randomness when SCP-914 "refines" an item. However, it seems to preserve some element of its original composition, in this example, clockworks. This is not a law, but a high probability. Refine a metal bar, and you're more likely to get a simple metal object than an internal combustion engine. Both, however, are possible. - Dr. Gears

Test 914-0102Name: Dr. Gears Date: ██/██/████ Total Items: Three (3) copies of all documentation, photographs, and test logs accumulated in relation to SCP-914.

Input: One (1) copy of SCP-914 documentation Setting: 1:1 Output: Folder containing all previously entered documents, arranged in chronological order.

Input: One (1) copy of SCP-914 documentation Setting: Fine Output: Hard-bound book containing 400 pages. No diagrams, photos, or other visual aids of any kind are included. The pages appear to be solid black, but microscopic examination shows each page to be covered in approximately twenty thousand characters. The text has no correlation with any known writing style, and is not in a linear format, with "sentences" constructed from individual characters spread out between many pages. Each sentence requires an exceedingly complex formula to decode, with each formula unique to each sentence. (Note: Current decoding work has resulted in two partially translated sentences after 225 work-hours. Item appears to be a record of the internal structure of SCP-914.)

Input: One (1) copy of SCP-914 documentation Setting: Very Fine Output: Single sheet of paper. Weight is exactly the same as the entered documentation. The sheet appears to be a single page from the entered SCP-914 documentation, however when flipped over to the right, the reverse side is the following page in sequence. When flipped over to the left, the opposite side is the preceding page in sequence. No new documentation is included, but this item is significantly easier to store, if more time-consuming to browse.

Note: It's screwing with us, you know that right? I don't CARE if it's been proven that it has no self-awareness, this thing is LAUGHING at us! - General ████████

Note: There seems to be some difficulty as to the meaning of "fine" and "coarse" on the settings; the machine appears to be capable of refining input based either on a scale of complexity (loss of entropy accompanied by increase in connectivity between components and/or acquisition of subjective meaning) or of simplification (separation into composite materials and loss of meaning). - Dr. Gears

Test 914-0103Name: Dr. Grangan Date: ██/██/████ Total Items: Five (5) adult male cadavers

Input: One (1) cadaver Setting: Rough Output: A pile of human remains. Limbs, organs and bones all appear to have been roughly separated via tearing action and high heat. Output described as "unsettling".

Input: One (1) cadaver Setting: Coarse Output: Pile of human remains. All organs and bones have been removed by some form of cutting tool. The skin, nervous system, digestive system, and circulatory system all appear to have been removed without severing or damaging any of tissues involved. Results frozen for study.

Input: One (1) cadaver Setting: 1:1 Output: One Asian male cadaver. Original cadaver was identified as Caucasian.

Input: One (1) cadaver Setting: Fine Output: One cadaver containing SCP-008. Subject immediately incinerated.

Input: One (1) cadaver Setting: Very Fine Output: Green slime. Properties and chemical structure determined to be identical to SCP-447-2.

Note: By order of O5-█, cadavers may no longer be tested in SCP-914 in order to minimize the possibility of SCP-447-2 coming in contact with dead bodies.

Test 914-0104Name: Dr. Ouros Date: ██/██/20██ Total Items: 1x pill of SCP-500

Input: 1 pill Setting: Fine Output: 1 ornate metal locket, now classified as SCP-427

Test 914-0105Name: Dr. Zemyla Cenh Date: ██/██/20██ Total Items: 2x identical wooden cross pendants, 7.6cm (3in) long

Input: 1x cross Setting: Rough Output: 1x fragment of wood of the same mass, cut flat on 3 sides. This may be a fragment of a larger cross.

Input: 1x cross Setting: Fine Output: 1x wooden crucifix with intricately detailed carving of Jesus Christ.

Note: This may imply that SCP-914 has an understanding of religion. More experiments with religious items are indicated. - Dr. Cenh

Note: This test may indicate that SCP-914 understands the use of input objects and not simply their function. Recommend testing with medicines reliant on the placebo effect to ascertain if outputs provide actual medicinal solutions to problems. - Dr. Pyrrhus

Test 914-0106Name: Dr. Gibbons Date: ██/██/████ Total Items: Three hundred U.S. dollars. One hundred U.S dollars will be used for each setting.

Input: One hundred U.S. dollars Setting: Coarse Output: A puddle of ink and a small pile of cotton and plastic weighing roughly as much as the original currency.

Input: One hundred U.S. dollars Setting: 1:1 Output: Seventy-five euros.

Input: One hundred U.S. dollars Setting: Fine Output: A shareholder's note for "Soap from Corpses Products", worth one hundred U.S. dollars. It is unknown whether 914 selected a Foundation's front out of pure whimsy, or because of some other criteria.

Update: As in ██/██/████, Soap from Corpses Products' shares skyrocketed, and the aforementioned 'Fine' output is now worth $████ (USD). It is under investigation if 914 'selected' Soap from Corpses Products because it 'knew' was going to rally, or if it was a matter of pure luck.

Test 914-0107Name: Dr. █████ Date: ██/██/20██ Total Items: 5x Bronze replicas of the Pioneer 10 and 11 plaques.

Input: 1 plaque on each setting

Setting: Rough Output: Multiple bronze cubes and two bronze spheres.

Setting: Coarse Output: 105 grams of copper ore and 15 grams of tin ore.

Setting: 1:1 Output: Several CDs. Tests reveal them to contain the same data as the Voyager Golden Record.

Setting: Fine Output: A record-sized bronze disc. Testing shows that using the object with a record player will play a recording of a currently unidentified voice describing the content and meanings of the Pioneer plaque.

Setting: Very Fine Output: A bronze gyroscope, 15 cm tall. A needle in the center continuously points in one direction; testing has confirmed that no matter the position of the gyroscope, this needle points towards our Sun.

Test 914-0108Name: Dr. ███████ Date: ██/██/20██ Total Items: 5 lbs. raw ground beef

Input: 1 lb. raw ground beef Setting: Rough Output: 1 lb. beef slurry.

Input: 1 lb. raw ground beef Setting: Fine Output: 1 lb. medium-cooked round steak.

Input: 1 lb. raw ground beef Setting: Fine Output: 1 lb. pile of beef jerky.

Input: 1 lb. raw ground beef Setting: Very Fine Output: 2 half-pound flank steaks, well-done and lightly drizzled in gravy.

Input: 1 lb. raw ground beef Setting: Very Fine Output: [DATA EXPUNGED] Subject terminated with no casualties.

Test 914-0109Name: Dr. █████ Date: ██/██/20██ Total Items: 5x IRS Form 1040 (blank)

Input: 1x IRS Form 1040 (blank) Setting: Rough Output: Several hundred thin paper strips.

Input: 1x IRS Form 1040 (blank) Setting: Coarse Output: 1 block of wood, wet with strong-smelling liquid. Tests indicated the liquid to be composed of a variety of chemicals used in the paper-making process.

Input: 1x IRS Form 1040 (blank) Setting: 1:1 Output: 1x IRS Form 4868 (blank)

Input: 1x IRS Form 1040 (blank) Setting: Fine Output: 1x IRS Form 1040, with all blank space including margins and backs of pages filled with imprecations against the IRS and taxation in general in the following languages [in order of quantity of text, from greatest to least]: Basque, Quenya [see below], Sumerian, Cherokee, an unidentifiable language with a writing system composed of curved symbols, Classical Chinese, English (from the curses used, apparently c. 1650-1750). After long study of the unidentifiable symbols Dr. █████ could identify no commonality with any of the other languages present on the form. The Sumerian contained three words unattested from any known text. The Quenya had its cursing of the IRS interspersed with vituperation of someone or something called "Morgoth".

Input: 1x IRS Form 1040 (blank) Setting: Very Fine Output: 1x IRS Form "MXL", filled out for the year 35 and with the name given as "GAIVS IVLIVS CAESAR AVGVSTVS GERMANICVS" and all monetary amounts given in Roman numerals with the word "DENARII" entered afterwards.


Funny / SCP Foundation: SCP-914 Experiment Log

  • SCP-914 has no patience for IKEA products:

    Test 914-0505
    Name: Guest Researcher Prof. Wren
    Date: 03/04/2019
    Total Items: One "Stuva" loft bed manufactured by IKEA (unassembled and still in box)
    Note: We've seen this machine work miracles in the past. -Guest Researcher Prof. Wren

    Input: The aforementioned box with all proper contents inside.
    Setting: Fine
    Note: For about 14 minutes after I turned the key, nothing happened. I'm pretty sure I heard lots of clanging and banging from in there, though. -Guest Researcher Prof. Wren
    Output: A heavily damaged cardboard box, multiple furniture pieces assembled in a shape vaguely resembling a giraffe with others strewn around the floor, [REDACTED] origami throwing stars later determined to be made from the assembly instructions. The paper stars were clocked exiting the "Output" booth for a duration of 48 seconds at speeds of up to 526 kilometers per hour and struck Prof. Wren in multiple locations, including multiple strikes to the face and groin. No serious injuries were reported.
    Yeah, can't blame you there, 914. Gotta say, though, the origami game is definitely on point. Pun fully intended. -Guest Researcher Prof. Wren.
    Note: A copy of the security footage has been made available with the professor's permission for anyone who wishes to view it.

  • Test # 0514 Fun with… cannons?!

    Input: 1 Howitzer, 1 Log, 1 Copy [of [REDACTED] paperwork]
    Setting: Fine
    Output: 1 Test Log Cannon, upon booth doors opening the cannon proceeded to wheel itself out. When Researcher Darby exited his control booth to examine the object, it proceeded aim itself at Researcher Darby and fire with no discernible trigger. The projectile appeared to be a small (6cm) log of compressed SCP-914 experiment logs and it exited the barrel of the cannon at a relatively low speed for a cannon. However, the velocity was still enough to put Researcher Darby in the infirmary for severe blunt force trauma.
    Note: I think I'm getting a flak vest, or maybe a suit of armor - Researcher Darby
    Note: Money changing hands due to bets made on Darby's injuries can be done outside of my testing area. -Veritas

  • SCP-914 appears to have a lot of respect for Bob Ross:
    Test 914-0527
    Name:Researcher Lombardi
    Total Items:One canvas, easel, and a selection of oil based paints. One VHS containing a selection of 'The Joy of Painting' Episodes.
    Note: 914 has been encouraged to do creative acts before - let's see if adding instruction helps. - Lombardi

    Input:One canvas, easel, and a selection of oil based paints. One VHS containing a selection of 'The Joy of Painting' Episodes.
    Output:As above. The paints have been mixed to more closely match the colors commonly used by Bob Ross. The contents of the VHS has been altered to contain different episodes of 'The Joy of Painting' - all of which have been verified identical to existing broadcast episodes.
    Note: 914 has locked onto the theme at least. Now we will test if upping the setting results in a painting of the given style. - Lombardi

    Input:Output of previous test
    Output:A VHS case formed out of the canvas, easel, and plastics of the paint containers. Case has a grayish brown color, created by mixing all of the paints together. VHS now contains episodes of 'The Joy of Multidimensional Manipulation'. Each episode depicts Bob Ross operating 914 to produce fantastical and anomalous creations.
    Ross demonstrates a great deal of skill and familiarity with the device, explaining why he places a given item into 914, along with other factors that influence its output. These include specific thoughts or visualizations in his mind, temperature and humidity levels of his studio, and amount of light shining upon 914. These explanations do not provide insight into 914's operation, as they are offered as a means to an end. Example: "I've turned it up to the 'fine' setting now. I want super-cooled fiber optic sheets, so while I turn this key I of course need to think about my grandparents driving along a busy highway discussing their taxes."
    Each episode follows a similar format:

    • Bob Ross declares what sort of creation he will be making during the show.

    • He wheels out a series of bins containing common household objects.

    • He begins refining them on various settings - frequently switching between 'very fine' and 'coarse' to create some advanced piece of work and then break it down safely into component parts.

    • Frequently he will manually combine or alter items outside of the device, usually to cause some sort of expected chemical change.

    • In cases where an output is hazardous, he has appropriate safety gear on site both for himself and for viewers. This can take the form of censoring of video or muting of audio if output contains a memetic hazard.

    • Has a similar arc to most 'Joy of Painting' episodes in that the creations seem to progress steadily towards the desired output, regress considerably halfway through the process, only to come together perfectly at the end.

    The tape contains the following episodes:

    • 'A crystalline trumpet that emits music notes of pure energy'

    • 'Anti-gravity rollerskates'

    • 'Edible stars'

    • 'A rainbow that can be molded like clay.'

    Note: Of course Bob Ross makes it look easy. - Lombardi

  • SCP-914 doesn't seem to know what to make of SCP-682... or maybe it knows exactly what to make of it:

    Test 914-0536
    Name: Doctor Sheath
    Date: 09/04/2019
    Total items: Five incomplete test logs, with the input as "SCP-682."
    Note: Don't lie, we’re all curious what would happen. Hopefully 914 can fill in the gaps for us. -Dr. Sheath

    Input: One incomplete test log, with input "SCP-682" and setting "Rough."
    Setting: 1:1
    Output: One incomplete test log, with input "Rough" and setting "SCP-682."
    Note: No, not quite, 914. Try again.

    Input: One incomplete test log, with input "SCP-682" and setting "Coarse."
    Setting: 1:1
    Output: One incomplete test log, with input "SCP-682" and setting "course." Included at the bottom is a childlike doodle of SCP-682 in a racecar driving along a race course.
    Note: I'm not sure it understands what I'm going for.

    Input: One incomplete test log, with input "SCP-682" and setting "1:1."
    Setting: 1:1
    Output: One incomplete test log, with input "SCP-1" and setting "682:682."

    Input: One incomplete test log, with input "SCP-682" and setting "Fine."
    Setting: 1:1
    Output: One incomplete test log for Experiment Log T-98816-OC108/682, detailing an attempt to kill SCP-682 by throwing SCP-914 at it.

    Input: One incomplete test log, with input "SCP-682” and setting “Very Fine."
    Setting: 1:1
    Output: One piece of paper, with a cognitohazardous symbol on it. Those who look at it fall into a dreamlike state where they imagine a titanic SCP-682 ruling over something. No two dreams have been the same thus far.
    Note: The paper has been incinerated at the request of many. All I saw was 682 burning down the entire planet. Apparently I got lucky. Some researchers witnessed it eating a galaxy, others saw it killing individual family members, and at least two saw it try to seduce them.

  • Dr. King tries to get Researcher Devyn to produce a catalytic generator with 100% efficiency by using SCP-682. Of course, since it involves Dr. King…

    Test 914-0538
    Name: Researcher Devyn
    Date: 09/04/2019
    Total Items: One handheld catalytic generator, 18% conversion efficiency.
    Note: Researcher Devyn is on assignment from Dr. King.

    Note: In case anyone is wondering, a catalytic generator produces electricity via a catalyst between [DATA EXPUNGED]. A handheld unit like the one provided can produce up to 48 watts of power an hour for a period of up to 4 hours. However, the process currently leaves 82% of the materials in an unusable state without refinement, resulting in the short life span before replacement of materials is needed. The goal of this experiment is to produce a generator with close to 100% efficiency, in order to tackle the Foundation's growing energy needs. -Researcher Devyn

    Input: The catalytic generator.
    Setting: Very Fine
    Output:(crossed-out: 157 apple seeds) 157 smaller catalytic generators, each having 1/157 the mass of the original and measuring approximately the size of a piece of candy corn. Tests revealed that, while each generator had 99.4% conversion efficiency, they only output 0.04W an hour. Additionally, a cognitohazardous anomaly causes anyone directly viewing them to perceive them as appleseeds; viewing through a camera feed mitigates the anomaly. Further analysis of the changes in the devices' technology is currently pending.

    Note: Dammit, should have known this would happen…also, what the hell are you people talking about? Those are clearly [EXPLETIVE DELETED] apple seeds. -Researcher Devyn

    Note: Suggestions to deliver the generators to Dr. King are preemptively denied.

  • Fun with quantum mechanics:

    Test 914-0540
    Name: Researcher Darby
    Date: 10/04/2019
    Total Items: 5 Papers on Quantum Theory, 5 small balls of steel, 4 beef Ramen bowls;
    Note: Who took that last bowl of beef ramen? Also, don't ask what the point of this is because I have no answer. - Researcher Darby

    Input: Paper on Quantum Theory, Ball of Steel;
    Setting: Rough
    Output: Shreds of Paper and Steel fragments;
    Note: Not surprised - Researcher Darby

    Input: Paper on Quantum Theory, Ball of Steel, Beef Ramen bowl;
    Setting: Coarse
    Output: Paper, Steel, Plastic, and Ramen neatly separated along with a puddle of ink;
    Note: Again, standard coarse reaction to input. - Researcher Darby

    Input: Paper on Quantum Theory, Ball of Steel, Beef Ramen bowl;
    Setting: 1:1
    Output: Paper on Planetary Physics, Steel Cube, Chicken Ramen bowl;
    Note: In my opinion 914, turning a perfectly good bowl of Beef Ramen to a bowl of Chicken Ramen is regression, not equivalent exchange. - Researcher Darby

    Input: Paper on Quantum Theory, Ball of Steel, Beef Ramen bowl;
    Setting: Fine
    Output: Paper describing 7th Dimension travel, Steel bull, Cooked beef Ramen, Researcher Darby;
    Note: I'm looking at myself watching me write this note…. - Researcher Darby

    Input: Paper on Quantum Theory, Ball of Steel, Beef Ramen bowl;
    Setting: Very Fine
    Output: Animate Steel Beetle with Ramen and Plastic Legs and Paper Wings. Upon exiting output booth, it charged at Researcher Darby's control booth and forced him to enter the Input booth. Researcher Darby's Intern attempted to rescue Researcher Darby, but was stopped by a burst of ink from the Beetle and the Quantum Darby holding him back. Once Researcher Darby was fully inside the Input booth, the Beetle initiated SCP-914 (on Very Fine) and managed to slip inside the input booth before it closed. When 914 finished refining, security personnel attempted to rescue Researcher Darby, but instant examination of the Output booth showed that both Researcher Darby and the Beetle were gone.
    Note: It had to happen. Otherwise, we would be stuck in a paradox, and nothing gets done. I would also like my Researcher status restored, as I am Researcher Darby and not a Quantum Anomaly. - Quantum Darby
    Note: Darby, are you stealing my beef Ramen bowls through some sort of quantum shenanigans? Cause if you are, then I would appreciate if you would stop, as the Ramen is the food for my mug cat. Also, try asking Rosen if he can help you with the status problem. Also, where are you? -Intern Lunar.
    Note: Apparently I don't exist anymore, I'd tell you my location but I'm not even sure where that is. - Researcher Darby

  • An attempt at making a request is either interpreted as Reverse Psychology or flat-out denied (you never really can tell with SCP-914):

    Test 914-0548
    Name: Dr. Matism
    Date: 10/04/2019
    Total Items: 1 note reading "Don't expose me to a cognitohazard please."

    Input: Above
    Setting: 1:1
    Output: Cognitohazardous symbols that when viewed, cause extreme cravings of Mexican food.

    Note: God [EXPLETIVE REDACTED] 914, you had one job! - Dr. Matism
    Note: Who the hell put that thing in the cafeteria during pizza Wednesday? Everyone starved themselves! - Researcher Danok
    Note: I just folded the pizza into a taco and put toppings on it. -Intern Lunar
    Note: Can we hire Lunar? His ingenuity is baffling. - Dr. Matism
    Note: Let him send his resume to my office. I have a feeling a position is going to open up if you keep up the level of professionalism that you currently have. -Veritas

  • Should have seen this one coming.note Keep in mind that SCP-914 is explicitly stated to follow conservation of mass; however much matter goes in is the exact same amount of matter that goes out.

    Test 914-0552
    Name: Dr. V█████
    Date: 11/04/2019
    Total items: One toolbox containing one each of the following: A flathead screwdriver, a Phillips screwdriver, a claw hammer, a ballpeen hammer, a 16' measuring tape, a hacksaw, needle-nose pliers, vice grips, a crescent wrench adjustable to up to 2-1/2", a set of metric Allen wrenches, and a set of standard Allen wrenches.
    Note: If all goes well with this test, this will create the perfect multi-tool, suitable for any task. Then I…er, the Foundation, rather, can reverse-engineer it and market it for millions! -Dr. V█████

    Input: The toolbox.
    Setting: Very Fine
    Output: A large, multi-limbed arthropodal creature made of plastic and metal. Its abdomen and head resembled the toolbox. At the end of each limb was the end of one of the tools. Immediately upon the "Output" booth opening, the creature attacked Dr. V█████ and smashed his head in with its hammer-appendages, killing him instantly. Security personnel moved in and destroyed the creature.

    Note: "If all goes well with this test?" He seriously said that? Since when has that ever happened with anything involving 914, especially on the Very Fine setting? I've only been here a few weeks and even I know better than that. -Prof. Wren
    Note: If he was trying to do this for profit, you could say he was being a tool. Also, yeah, don't think Very Fine is going to do what you want. -Intern Lunar
    Note: Why is the body count in my testing area on par with bloody 682's termination record? Am I not strict enough in security measures or are half of my research staff just drooling imbeciles?! - Veritas

  • Test # 0553 Testing with painkillers has intriguing results.

    Input: One of the above mentioned vials.
    Setting: Fine
    Output: Prescription Vial of 12 unmarked pills, each of which are the equivalent to the mass of two pills. Official Site-██ Prescription Sticker on front of vial now says "914 brand Pain Killers. Take one every 24 hours for instantaneous pain relief." D-Class testing reveals that all previous sensations that could be defined as uncomfortable are immediately alleviated for exactly 24 hours. No negative side effects have been witnessed at this time.
    Note: After having it tested for anomalous tendencies, I'm going to bring this to the lab for possible reverse-engineering. Lord knows that you people could use these. -Doctor S.

    Input: One of the above mentioned vials
    Setting: Very Fine
    Output: One Plastic Prescription Vial of 24 unmarked pills. Official Site-██ Prescription Sticker on front of vial now says "914 brand Pain. Take one every 12 hours for instantaneous pain." Within three seconds of being consumed by D-Class, subjects fall to ground screaming in agony. Within 1 hour, subjects stopped screaming due to loss of voice, but continued to roll of ground in agony for 2 more hours before being administered a "914 brand Painkiller" to test which drug is more powerful. Subjects state there was still a dull throb of pain across their entire body after being administered pain killer. A physical evaluation of subjects reveal no lingering damage to internal organ structure or bodily functions.
    Note: I guess 914 doesn't care much for "Do No Harm" -Doctor S.

  • Mixing soda and hot sauce in SCP-914 proves to be a bad idea:

    Test 914-0556
    Name: Prof. Wren
    Date: 11/04/2019
    Items: Three 12-oz. bottles of homemade soda, 1 8-oz. container of fruit salad, 1 bag of Earl Grey tea, 1 packet of hot sauce.
    Notes: As disgusting as I'm sure that Passion Fruit-Ranch stuff 914 made a can for the other night, it did give me a couple of ideas. If these pan out, we might be able to market them on a front company for increased revenue. Or at least serve them in the break room. -Prof. Wren

    Input: 1 bottle of soda, 1 container of fruit salad.
    Setting: Fine
    Output: One 20-oz bottle of carbonated beverage. The label shows a variety of fruit made entirely out of bubbles.
    Note: Tried a bit after it was cleared of hazards. As expected, it's soda with a mixed variety of fruit flavors, most prominently apple, grape, and strawberry. Marketability level: 8.5/10. -Prof. Wren

    Input: 1 bottle of soda, 1 tea bag.
    Setting: Fine
    Output: One 12-oz bottle of brown liquid, warm to the touch, and 2 small cubes later identified as pure cane sugar. The label shows the Union Jack made entirely of bubbles.
    Note: Tried a bit after it was cleared of hazards. Basically, it made carbonated tea and stripped the sugar I used to make the stuff out entirely. Yuck. Marketability level: 1.0/10. -Prof Wren

    Input: 1 bottle of soda, 1 packet of hot sauce.
    Setting: Fine
    Output: One 12-oz bottle of fizzy red liquid, shaking violently. Security footage showed the label to have nuclear hazard symbols around the edges with the word "CAUTION!!" repeated over and over in between. Bottle exploded shortly after the "output" booth opened, spraying the booth with liquid and glass shards while lodging the cap in the ceiling. No indication of NBR hazards were found; explosion thought to be caused by the liquid being superheated. Cleanup crews cleaned the "output" booth of soda spray and shattered glass without incident.
    Note: I thought this one might be a bad idea going in, but I didn't think it'd be THAT bad. Marketability level: -∞/10. -Prof. Wren

  • Test # 0567 More fun with credit cards:

    Input: One MasterCard.
    Setting: Fine
    Output: The card appears unchanged. When used, it seemingly pays with money from a random person's bank accounts, even if they don't own a credit card.

    Input: One MasterCard.
    Setting: Very Fine
    Output: The card appears unchanged. When picked up by Researcher Luke, it began materializing money in the output booth. During the process, a sudden drop in Researcher Luke's bank account balance was noticed and is proportional to the money created by the object. Anomalous activities ceased when the object was dropped. The object was moved to anomalous objects-storage and the money was returned to Researcher Luke.
    Note: Oh boy, one day this thing's gonna ruin my existence. -R. Luke

  • Darby and Calloway collaborate on a test. Disaster ensues.

    Test 914-0559
    Name: Researchers Calloway and Darby
    Date: 12/04/2019
    Total Items: 15 kilograms of steel, 15 capacitors, 2 hard drives, 2 notes with smiley faces
    Note {Darby}: I am missing a hard drive due to someone forgetting which way goes up in transit and breaking it. Also I have had my Researcher status restored on probation, they still don't believe I'm the same Darby that went into 914 and came out [REDACTED] years prior to that test.

    Note: These next two tests were performed by Researcher Darby.

    Input: 6 kilograms steel, 6 capacitors, hard drive
    Setting: Fine
    Output: 6 1-kilogram Steel cockroaches run by AA batteries (presumably what the capacitors transformed into), 1 control module with mini USB female port.
    Note {Darby}: I can plug this into my laptop, let's see what it does. Oooh, it controls the cockroaches. Apparently they locate nearby electronics and do something. Maybe R&D can use this or… maybe not, the cockroach just ate Calloway's laptop and is making a duplicate of itself from the mass it gained.
    Note {Calloway}: Just… keep those things away from me.

    Input: Note with smiley face
    Setting: Fine
    Output: Note; however, the smiley face has been replaced by a Soviet Hammer and Sickle. Viewing of note affects the viewer, causing them to believe they are Russian spies infiltrating the SCP Foundation. Researcher Darby was apprehended and administered anti-memetics after attempting to send Top Secret documentation about SCP-914, Site 19, Dr. Veritas, SCP-682, and others to the current Russian Spy Agency.
    Note {Darby}: Я НЕ КОММУНИСТ 914 ПОЧЕМУ ВЫ ЭТО ДЕЛАЕТЕ ДЛЯ МЕНЯ! Теперь я не могу перестать говорить по-русски, и все это параноид от меня.
    Note: Someone keep him on amnestics for a while before he hurts himself, or more importantly, my equipment. -Veritas

    Note: These next two tests were performed by Researcher Calloway.

    Input: 6 kilograms steel, 6 capacitors, hard drive.
    Setting: Fine
    Output: A steel device, which acts as a sort of "human hard drive", allowing the downloading and uploading of memories and thoughts via a cerebral device. Upon use on D-Class Personnel, all memories were erased, excepting those relating to SCP-914.
    Note: Nice try, 914. -Researcher Calloway

    Input: 1 note, with a smiley face drawn on it.
    Setting: Fine
    Output: 1 note, with an anomalous symbol drawn on it. When viewed by a subject, all personnel viewing the subject will become convinced that it is SCP-096 for fifteen minutes.
    Note {Calloway}: The only reason I didn't get stuffed into a containment chamber faster than you can think is that we got a Class-D to get the test item. There were containment breach alarms going off everywhere, and we panicked, of course. Until it wore off, and we let the poor Class-D out of the containment chamber.

    Note: These tests were performed by both Researchers

    Input: 3 kilograms of steel, 3 capacitors, Note {Calloway's}
    Setting: Very Fine
    Output: Twisted mass of steel, copper, and paper in the shape of an Archaic rune. Study reveals that had the rune been on paper, it would have imparted a blind rage upon viewers, causing them to attempt to terminate any living being nearby.
    Note {Darby}: I did not expect 914 to fail that bad at killing us, Calloway, want to do another test with my note instead?

    Input: 3 kilograms of steel, 3 capacitors, note {Darby's}
    Setting: Very Fine
    Output: Metal cube with paper symbols on the sides, the symbols compel the viewer to press a large glowing button on the cube. Upon both Researchers pressing the button, it sent out a wave of energy throughout the entirety of Site [REDACTED], disabling most security and containment systems and causing a Major Containment Breach. Thankfully, the SCPs that escaped containment were drawn to Researcher Darby and Calloway and attempted to eliminate them, causing massive casualties to personnel in their way. The effect of the cube lasted for 3 hours, upon which the SCPs were contained and repairs began.note This sets up a few Brick Jokes later on, as a few researchers were caught up in the rampage, but largely ignored by the escaped SCPs. Lombardi notes that he got to "experience the joy of getting trampled by what felt like every damn skip in this facility" but only suffered a few broken ribs, while MT Johnson is surprised that he's still alive (and confused as to why the rampaging SCPs completely ignored him (as well as why he's being followed by a guard with a water gun, which references a later entry on this list)).
    Note {Darby}: I couldn't resist it, looks like my researcher status is again in question. I'm going to my roomCell until Veritas figures out what to do with me.

    Note: This was a major disaster, we had 34% of D-Class, 18% of Research Staff, 30% of my Security Forces, and my secretary killed by the Containment Breach and we still have not re-contained all of them. Thank God for fail-safes or it could have been worse. - Security Chief Brandt
    Note: Dr. Veritas' request to reassign Researcher Darby and Calloway to the mobile Site orbiting Mars has been denied. His request to reassign Darby and Calloway to the Research base in Antarctica is currently under review. - Site Director Hackett

  • 914 isn't ready to stop tormenting Darby and Calloway yet:

    Test 914-0565
    Name: Researcher Z. Larua
    Date: 13/04/2019
    Total Items: 1 note, 1 pencil
    I'm hoping I can get some insight into more direct and efficient testing if I can somehow determine what this machine has an affinity for. -Larua

    Input: 1 note that reads "What do you desire, 914?", 1 pencil
    Setting: 1:1
    Output: A cognitohazardous note with "DARBY-CALLOWAY" burned into it. Upon viewing the paper, Researcher Larua began muttering "I must deliver them" continuously.

    Incident Report: Researcher was then detained by faculty staff and escorted to the med-bay for amnestic administration. Prior to reaching the med-bay, Researcher Larua had escaped and was later found in Dr. Veritas' office. He was attempting to coerce the doctor, in a monotone voice, to redact his ruling to send Darby and Calloway to Antarctica.
    Note: We've ascertained in the past that 914 isn't sentient in the past, at least not as we understand it. Starting to wonder, then, if those two aren't anomalies themselves… given how many of Darby's experiments end in stuff goingKABLOOEY, I'd suggest Keter classification. -Prof. Wren
    Note: I'm not giving either of them the satisfaction, Wren. The only two anomalous things are their stupid luck and my patience. -Veritas
    Note: Fair enough, boss, but if they do another collab like this, I'm evacuating the premises and would suggest everyone else do their best to keep up! -Prof. Wren

  • Fun with music:

    Test 914-0566
    Name: Prof. Wren, accompanied by D-4884
    Date: 13/04/2019
    Total Items: One CD ("Queen: Greatest Hits")
    Note: Sacrilegious, I know, but CDs are on their way out anyway, and this copy's scratched badly enough that "Bicycle Race" and "Fat Bottomed Girls" don't even play, so what good is it really? As for the D-Class… I plan on using Very Fine today, so I'm taking precautions. -Prof. Wren

    Input: The "Queen: Greatest Hits" CD
    Setting: Very Fine
    Output: A new CD, "Muhammad Ali's Greatest Hits," showing a green silhouette of the legendary boxer against a yellow background on the cover art. No tracklist supplied.
    Note: D-4884 was supplied with headphones and a CD player, and instructed to listen to the album. D-4884 described it as an announcer detailing a match between Ali and George Foreman, shortly after which his body jerked violently as if struck by a hard punch. This continued for nearly █ minutes before D-4884 was terminated by a violent twist of the head focused at the jaw, breaking his neck. Analysis of the placement and timing of the perceived blows coincided with footage of the "Rumble in the Jungle" match between the two aforementioned boxers in 1974. The album is being transferred to anomalous object storage.
    Note: "Greatest Hits" indeed. Ouch. Stuff like this is why we should tread cautiously with the Very Fine setting, guys. -Prof. Wren

  • Larua isn't done probing 914:

    Test 914-0570
    Name: Researcher Z. Larua
    Date: 13/04/2019
    Total Items: 1 note, 1 pencil
    Note: I was going to test to see what this machine had an affinity for, but I was informed I already performed it. Dr. Veritas also told me not to do it again. Sternly. So instead of the prior test, let's examine what this machine is incompatible with. -Larua

    Input: 1 note that reads "What do you wish to avoid, 914?", 1 pencil
    Setting: 1:1
    Output: A pencil that is completely worn all the way down to the eraser head, and one note that seems to be completely coated in graphite. Upon closer inspection with a microscope, the paper has the phrase "17 Again" written continuously from corner to corner on the front and back. When viewed at a certain angle in light, the shading on the graphite seems to display the name "NUKEA".
    Note: I'm afraid to ask. -Larua
    Note: Well, sorry. I have too many copies of 17 again. -Nukea

  • 914 doesn't grasp the concept of "peace" or "reconciliation":

    Test 914-0573
    Name: Probationary Researcher Darby
    Date: 13/04/2019
    Total Items: One Twenty-three page peace treaty covering any possible situation, One Pen
    Note: Maybe 914 will accept this - Researcher Darby

    Input: Above Mentioned
    Setting: Very Fine
    Output: Signed Peace Treaty
    Note: Does this mean that 914 will stop trying to kill me? - Researcher Darby

    Note: Researcher Darby was found nearly dead this morning after the Peace Treaty he signed transformed into a paper assassin and attempted to kill him. He was found by security personnel bleeding out, covered in papercuts, and suffering from poison derived from the Ink. The assassin has not yet been found and guards equipped with water guns have been assigned to Researchers Darby, Calloway, Nukea, Wren, Stan, Lombardi, and any other Researcher that has had negative interactions with 914 within the past 6 months. note While not listed here, MT Johnson also gets a guard following him around with a water gun, and he’s not the only one to be confused by it. Just like the Darby/Calloway collab, this incident sets up a bunch of Brick Jokes where several researchers take notice of the water-gun-armed guards and wonder why they're following them around. - Security Chief Brandt
    Note: My porcelain cat mug got it. I think it rolled over spilling the tea I had in it and then shredded it with its claws. I found the paper assassin's head and torso struggling to get out of the cat mug's mouth. I was going to rip it up and incinerate it but the cat ate it. If it weren't for the fact that that cat has shown nothing but kindness towards people, I would get rid of it. -Intern Lunar

  • Who?

    Test 914-0575
    Name: Junior Researcher Kenwol
    Date: 14/04/2019
    Total Items: 1 slip of paper

    Input: 1 slip of paper with the words "Please don't assassinate me"
    Setting: Very Fine
    Output: 1 slip of paper that reads "Who", that when read, every other word spoken or written becomes "who"

    Note: I who to who it who fine (Probable) Translation I meant to set it to fine - Junior Who Kenwol
    Note: Junior Researcher Kenwol was later found putting the paper in the incinerator, saying "Who"
    Note: I don't… someone get the Site Psychiatrist of Amnestics specialist for Kenwol, he's doing… something he's not supposed to do. -Veritas

  • A janitor attempts to use 914 to destroy Jeff, Intern Lunar's mug cat. 914 does not approve.

    Test 914-0580
    Name: Janitor Svede
    Date: 14/04/2019
    Total Items: 1 Mug Cat
    Note: This Cat spilled my water all across the mess hall, Ashes to Ashes and all that - Janitor Svede

    Input: 1 Mug Cat
    Setting: Rough
    Output:1 Mug Cat, unchanged
    Note: WHAT? Is it not supposed to destroy things on Rough? - Janitor Svede

    Tests 2-68 Removed for Brevity

    Note: Maybe if I try on another setting, it will work. - Janitor Svede
    Input: 1 Mug Cat
    Setting: Very Fine
    Output:1 Mug Cat, patterned differently from input
    Note: Janitor Svede was found crying in a corner moaning about "Mug Cats" and "The Gears were laughing at me". He has been sent to psychological counseling and reassigned to a different section of the facility. - Site Director Hackett
    Note: I oversee a testing department consisting of blubbering petty children and clumsy disasters in the shape of research personnel. I don't get paid enough for this crap. -Veritas
    Note: You get paid plenty, Lucius. Plus, I let you yell at them all you want. You can't buy that kind of stress reliever. - Site Director Hackett
    Note: Touché. - Veritas
    Note: Don't steal my mug cat, please. Its claws are comparable to ceramic knives. I've lost several mouse pads to its claws. Also, don't cry over spilt liquids. -Intern Lunar

  • Using rope in 914 leads to having a bad time:

    Test 914-0588
    Name: Dr. Matism
    Date: 15/04/2019
    Items: One 8 meter strand of hempen rope.
    Note: I'm going for an unbreakable rope.

    Input: The 8 meters of rope
    Setting: Very Fine
    Output: A hempen ambush noose. When approached by a human, it lunges at them in an attempt to wrap itself around its neck and strangle them.
    Note: Dr. Matism has been hospitalized due to a ruptured airpipe. Object incinerated by orders of Facility Manager ███████.
    Note: It's official, this skip doesn't like me - Dr. Matism
    Note: Your power of deduction is shocking. - Veritas

  • It continues on the very next test:

    Test 914-0589
    Name: Prof. Wren
    Date: 15/04/2019
    Total Items: One 8-meter strand of hempen rope, one katana.
    Note: I'm testing Dr. Matism's hypothesis on his relationship with 914 while simultaneously seeing if using the same inputs with the same settings can yield different results. Textbook definition of insanity, I know, but what isn't with this thing? -Prof. Wren

    Input: The rope.
    Setting: Very Fine
    Output: A hempen chihuahua. The dog lunged at, and bit down on, Prof. Wren's ankle upon approach; it fell to the floor and went inert upon being slashed to pieces. Further testing revealed the rope no longer contained any anomalous properties. Rope incinerated as a precautionary measure.

    Note: And that's what the katana was for. Not sure how this bodes with Dr. Matism's hypothesis, though. I mean, this wouldn't be the first time 914's attacked me (see footage of IKEA experiment for details… and laughs), but it could just be that 914 saw the same stuff as before and responded as if it were the same tester? Maybe 914 just doesn't like hemp? Either way, don't think I'm gonna be doing a three-peat of that experiment. -Prof. Wren
    I [EXPLETIVE] hate chihuahuas. Soulless bastards. - Dr. Matism
    Note: If he can bring a Katana to work, can I bring weapons to defend myself? - Researcher Darby
    Note: You're a walking disaster as it is, Darby. Wren didn't get his PhD slashing everything resembling danger up. You should be glad that Hackett took pity on you and you're not in Antarctica right now. - Veritas
    Note: Perks of being on good terms with security, Darby, even if I did have to file some paperwork to get clearance for it… and agree to let them keep the H2O-9000. They'll probably get better use out of it anyway, especially for fire control situations. EDIT: By the way… "He?" "His?" I would have thought the C-cups were a giveaway. Ah well. -Prof. Wren
    Note: Umm, now that explains a lot. - Researcher Darby

  • Well, it is an apt comparison…

    Test 914-0599
    Name: Researcher Z. Larua
    Date: 16/04/2019
    Total Items: Ice skates
    I honestly really want to see if I can get another one of those perpetual motion rods. -Larua

    Input: One pair of ice skates
    Setting: Very Fine
    Output: A single rod of metal, about 1 meter in length and 0.5 meters in diameter. When a D-Class was sent in to retrieve the rod, a blast of steam shot out from all openings on their uniform the moment they touched the rod. Once the steam dissipated, all was that was left was a completely dehydrated corpse. It is assumed that D-Class expired instantly upon touching the rod. Hazard personnel were called to retrieve the rod. Upon examination, the metal was revealed to be pure potassium with anomalous properties. Any water that touches the metal, the water will instantly vaporize instead of the potassium reacting. Should any biological entity touch the rod, all water within them will instantly vaporize without causing any physical damage to the body.

    Note: That went horribly… for that D-Class. This rod, however, will give me yet more interesting research to perform. I'm just happy that 914 didn't output some kind of other anomalous alkali metal that would've literally exploded in my face. I wonder how well this potassium rod would work against 682? -Larua
    Note: DON'T. From what I can tell, we don't want a contact-killing 682 from that. -Intern Lunar
    Note: Well, it already kills everything in its path. - Dr. Matism
    Note: I just realized that 682 is the SCP version of Kirby. - Junior Researcher Kenwol
    Note: A VERY ANGRY Kirby, no less. -Intern Lunar

  • Sours:
    1. Ferro concepts
    2. 2009 rav4 bike rack
    3. Nteu membership benefits

    SCP Foundation

    Experiment Log of: Dr. Gears, testing exposure of SCP-187 to other SCP items.

    Date: ██-██-████ to ██-██-████

    Experiment-01: Exposure to SCP-173

    SCP-187 produced a sustained scream for one minute, thirty-eight seconds before losing consciousness and falling to the ground. SCP-187 had to be physically removed, and maintained a state of catatonia for 48 hours. SCP-187 regained consciousness, but was unable to remember what she had seen, and remained in mild shock for several days.

    Experiment-02: Exposure to  SCP-139

    SCP-187 stated that she saw several bone fragments scattered around, along with [DATA EXPUNGED], as yet not identified. SCP-187 became extremely upset, screaming “it can see me! it’s out, it can fucking see me!” several times, and had to be physically restrained and removed.

    Experiment-03: Exposure to  SCP-162

    SCP-187 felt no “pull” from SCP-162 and asked why she was viewing a pile of melted slag. SCP-187 removed from containment without incident.

    Experiment-04: Exposure to SCP-529

    SCP-187 appeared very nervous, asking “is this a joke?” several times. SCP-187 reported that she saw a cat, and that it looked somewhat lonely. SCP-187 proceeded to pet SCP-529, moving her hand over where the hindquarters would be, as if stroking the tail. Increased observation of SCP-529 requested.

    Experiment-05: Exposure to SCP-003

    SCP-187 appeared nervous, then said “hello” to SCP-003. SCP-187 appeared to then engage in conversation with SCP-003; however, no member of staff was able to hear any speech or other auditory emanations from SCP-003. When questioned, SCP-187 responded that SCP-003 was “A very nice lady, she seems really smart.” Increased security and review of SCP-003 has been requested.

    Experiment-06: Exposure to SCP-882

    SCP-187 entered the containment area, and viewed SCP-882. SCP-187 moved back several steps, and appeared to be in mild shock. SCP-187 was questioned, and responded “Jesus…it’s huge…this is…amazing.” SCP-187 stopped responding to questions and continued to stare at SCP-882 without blinking for three minutes. SCP-187 had to be physically removed from the containment area to continue questioning. SCP-187 appeared dazed, and responded: “it’s so…I mean, it’s so complex…it’s sick, with all the bones and blood in it, but it looks like the inside of a fifty-foot tall clock. It’s…kinda pretty.”

    Shortly before SCP-187 was returned to containment, SCP-187 suddenly fell to the ground, screaming and holding her head. After several hours, during which SCP-187 was heavily sedated and unresponsive to questioning, SCP-187 reported “grinding, smashing, squealing…it sounded like a train wreck that just went on and on.” SCP-187 reported the sound lasted for approximately three hours before fading out of hearing. Increased security around SCP-882 has been requested

    Experiment-07: Exposure to SCP-███


    Experiment-08: Exposure to SCP-015

    SCP-187 was exposed to SCP-015, with the help of team Zeta-9. SCP-187 reported only slight differences in the structure, until she opened a door leading outside of SCP-015. SCP-187 reported a hallway of pipes stretching for “miles and miles.” SCP-187 stated that she was not able to see the other end of the hall, but that it “seemed to branch off to the sides, with lots of side hallways.” Zeta-9 team members reported no unusual behavior within SCP-015, and that the door opened into open air, with no hallway of any kind visible.

    Experiment-09: Exposure to SCP-415

    SCP-187 begins observation of SCP-415, and immediately appears to be agitated. SCP-187 appears to be feeling physically ill, and asks repeatedly to be removed from observation. Questioning reveals that SCP-187 observed an empty, diseased corpse that had partially decomposed. Increased security of SCP-415 advised.

    Experiment-10: Exposure to SCP-455

    SCP-187 is taken to observe SCP-455 from a small zodiac craft. SCP-187 takes a sharp intake of breath, then shakes her head and attempts to look away. SCP-187 has to be physically manipulated to continue observation of SCP-455. SCP-187 makes several inarticulate noises, before screaming several times. SCP-187 observed “A huge…thing. It was a mass of metal, just floating, like a big island made of rusty…bulges. It was like it was…sick, with tumors, but it was all metal. I could…feel it. It's not alive, it never was, but it…thinks it is. It's…what the hell was that?”. Re-continuation of recon team insertion into SCP-455 is under review.

    Experiment-11: Exposure to SCP-343

    SCP-187 enters containment with SCP-343. SCP-187 and SCP-343 appear to converse without incident about general topics for nearly half an hour (SEE TRANSCRIPT 33A-R). SCP-187 stated that SCP-343 “appears really nice, if kinda lonely. For a little girl, she's really well spoken! What is she, six, maybe seven?”. Increased research efforts into SCP-343 are under review.

    Experiment-12: Exposure to SCP-646

    SCP-187 becomes violently ill upon observation of SCP-646. After recovery, SCP-187 stated that she observed “giant maggot…things. Hundreds of them, with kinda human bodies and faces…they had these…tentacle things, all stuck in to each other, and they were all squirming and…god. There was one near the middle…it wasn't soft, it had some kind of shell…and this kind of jelly head…it was…I think it was mating…”. Enhanced security for SCP-646 advised.

    Experiment-13: Exposure to SCP-106

    SCP-187 observation test aborted after thirty seconds, due to escape incident by SCP-106. SCP-187 appeared to observe staff under attack or undergoing intense physical torture and mutilation two minutes before attack or capture. SCP-106 appeared to specifically target staff under observation by SCP-187. SCP-106 appeared to specifically avoid harming SCP-187 on three separate incidents. Under questioning, SCP-187 said “That…that thing wanted an audience. Someone to watch. It likes it.” SCP-187 refused to elaborate. Further questioning pending.

    SCP 686 Test Log 1

    Test 914-0150
    Name: Dr. T████
    Date: 11/05/2017, 18/05/2017, 25/05/2017
    Total Items: Three £10 notes. one will be used for each test. Each test will occur at 12:00pm GMT.

    Input: One £10 note
    Setting: 1:1
    Output: HK$100

    Note: Hong Kong was previously British territory prior to 1997. It is unknown whether SCP-914 chose HKD by chance or if it chose this currency due to Hong Kong's prior association with Great Britain, although the fact that it chose to use a note from the pre-handover era lends to the latter theory. Also of note is that HK$100 was, at the time of the test, almost equal in value to the £10 used as an input.

    Input: One £10 note
    Setting: 1:1
    Output: Two £5 notes, both from the same year as the input.

    Input: One £10 note
    Setting: 1:1
    Output: €11.60

    Note: This was, on the day of the test, almost equal to the value of the money used as an input. - Dr. T████

    Test 914-0151
    Name: Researcher Mason
    Date: 26/05/2017
    Total Items: Four LEGO X-wing starfighter construction sets, unopened

    Input: One LEGO X-wing starfighter construction set, unopened
    Setting: Rough
    Output: A heap of molten plastic, wood pulp, and various inks

    Input: One LEGO X-wing starfighter construction set, unopened
    Setting: 1:1
    Output: One LEGO TIE fighter construction set, unopened

    Input: One LEGO X-wing starfighter construction set, unopened
    Setting: Fine
    Output: A fully assembled LEGO X-wing. Upon further examination, various mechanisms and devices were discovered inside the X-wing, such as electronically operated landing gear, wings, lights, and canopy.

    Input: One LEGO X-wing star fighter construction set, unopened
    Setting: Very Fine
    Output: X-wing flew out of Output booth at 72 km/h and shot heated plasma at any personnel in its way, resulting in ██ casualties. Object broke out of Site-██ and left the atmosphere in 12 seconds. Current location is unknown.

    Test 914-0152
    Name: Dr. Geralds
    Date: 03/06/2017
    Total Items: Three lithium-ion batteries, manufactured by A123Systems

    Input: One lithium-ion battery
    Setting: 1:1
    Output: One lithium-ion battery, manufactured by the Chinese company Hunan Shanshan Toda Advanced Materials Co., Ltd.

    Input: One lithium-ion battery
    Setting: Fine
    Output: One object that resembles an unmarked lithium-ion battery. Closer inspection revealed that much of the internal mass of the battery had been converted into a radioactive isotope of [REDACTED], deriving power from its nuclear decay, with a design very similar to that used in many spacecraft. Object placed into storage.

    Input: One lithium-ion battery
    Setting: Very Fine
    Output: When the output door opened, air rushed into the output chamber as if a vacuum had been present within. The object is a black cube with two electrical nodes on the top, 15 cm across, and weighing exactly the weight of the input battery plus the air in the chamber. The object is unmarked, with the exception of a small printing on one side, warning users that the object contained antimatter, and advising caution. Antimatter composition of object has not yet been confirmed, but has shown no limit to energy capacity. Object currently under testing.

    Note: I think we should refrain from putting anything with a lot of potential energy into SCP-914 in the future. If the pressure wave from the air had damaged the output, all of Site-██ could have been destroyed. Not a pleasant thought. - Dr. Geralds

    Test 914-0153
    Name: Dr. Kobylka
    Date: 06/05/2017
    Total Items: One Crayola brand crayon, standard red color, one Crayola brand marker, standard red color

    Input: One Crayola brand crayon, standard red color
    Setting: Very Fine
    Output: One vibrant red crayon, no wrapping or any form of brand mark

    Note: After testing the crayon, the crayon mark seems to radiate heat and light with a red hue. Crayon put in storage for further testing.

    Input: One Crayola brand Marker, standard red color
    Setting: Very Fine
    Output: One marker, no brand mark. Removing the cap reveals a bright red tip. Tip stays bright despite the level of light in the room it occupies. Marks made by the output glow red and radiate heat in a similar way to the last object.

    Note: Testing proves that both the crayon and marker are safe, they have been subsequently placed in the lounge.

    Test 914-0154
    Name: Dr. Hadian
    Date: 08/07/2017
    Total Items: Three comforters, fitted for twin-size beds.

    Input: One of the comforters
    Setting: 1:1
    Output: A quilt of similar make and size.

    Input: One of the comforters
    Setting: Fine
    Output: A hand-crafted blanket. The thread count is notably high and the surface has a sleek, silky feel, but the mass is unaltered.

    Input: One of the comforters
    Setting: Very Fine
    Output: A comforter that has shown moderately anomalous properties. Testing with a few voluntary subjects shows that wrapping them up in the blanket, such that it covers around 80% of their body, results in a sense of security and well-being. Subjects wrapped in it and laid on their back report drowsiness and lose consciousness exactly 300 seconds later. The subject remains unconscious until the blanket is removed, at which point they awaken, reporting a restful sleep. Additionally, during this rest period, minor injuries and afflictions disappear, including scrapes, bruises, and in one case, a nasty cold.

    Note: Well, that's enough from me for tonight. Someone wake me at 8, will you? - Dr. Hadian

    Test 914-0155
    Name: Dr. Collins
    Date: 17/08/2017
    Total Items: Five New generic brand skateboard wheels w/ bearings

    Input: One green wheel
    Setting: Rough
    Output: A few chunks of unformed green rubber and plastic, as well as a small pile of steel dust.

    Input: One green wheel
    Setting: Course
    Output: Disassembled green skateboard wheel. Appears to have been used heavily and shows scuff marks and discoloration.

    Input: One green wheel
    Setting: 1:1
    Output: One red wheel of identical make and quality.

    Input: One green wheel
    Setting: Fine
    Output: One unmarked black wheel of almost perfect quality. The outer rubber of the wheels greatly resists wear even with prolonged use, and the center bearing exhibits almost no friction, and was successfully left spinning in a vacuum sealed environment for just under ██ days.

    Input: One green wheel
    Setting: Very Fine
    Output: One bearing, suspended by an invisible outer wheel of unknown material. Although invisible, the outer wheel physically exists and appears to use higher-dimensional translations to redirect the force of gravity and propel the object forward at at about half the speed of free fall. The wheel can be easily stopped at low speeds, but gains momentum quickly while unhindered. Prospective researchers should note that under the influence of gravity the wheel will always retain a 1/4mg horizontal force, even while at rest.

    Note: And they say you can't reinvent the wheel. - Dr. Collins
    Addendum: Following the collision of a Class-D personnel with Dr. ████ at ██ mph, all human testing has been suspended until Dr. ████ can come up with proper testing procedures.

    Test 914-0156
    Name: Dr. Hadiane
    Date: 19/08/2017
    Total Items: Three collections of children's toys made from magnets and ball bearings

    Input: One magnet and bearing set
    Setting: 1:1
    Output: A collection of interlocking plastic rods. The tips of each are magnetised.

    Input: One magnet and bearing set
    Setting: Fine
    Output: A series of magnetic rods and metal balls that appear to be self-replicating and self-assembling. Current structure is a pyramid roughly half a meter wide and tall. This structure shows no other anomalous properties and has been safely contained.

    Input: One magnet and bearing set
    Setting: Very Fine
    Output: A fine metal dust that exhibits similar properties to the "Fine" result, appearing to resolve itself into crystalline structure. It can be safely molded by hand, with the rough consistency of hot wax, and can be pulled apart without much effort. Class-D personnel who touched the substance barehanded reported a feeling of delight, and continued to play with it even as it encased their hands. Subjects were pulled away without injury and the substance has been contained.

    Note: Well, it certainly seems like a fun little toy to play with, but I'm fairly certain this isn't safe by any metric. - Dr. Hadian

    Test 914-0157
    Name: Dr. C. Ahearna
    Date: 21/08/2017
    Total Items: Three Samsung Galaxy phones

    Input: One Samsung Galaxy phone.
    Setting: 1:1
    Output: One Apple iPhone.

    Input: One Samsung Galaxy phone.
    Setting: Fine
    Output: A cell phone of unknown make or model, still using the same Android Operating System as before. The device seems to have the capability to use cellular data even while out of range of any cell towers. More testing is required.

    Input: One Samsung Galaxy phone.
    Setting: Very Fine
    Output: A black, malleable circular disk with a single button on the back. Pressing the button causes a hologram to begin projecting from a small LED-like device on the front. The hologram functions as an operating system for the device, which like the output produced by the Fine setting never loses cellular service. More testing is required.

    Note: I think we should reverse engineer the holographic phone produced by the Very Fine test, it could potentially be an amazing business opportunity if we can figure out how to reproduce it. - Dr. Ahearna

    Test 914-0158
    Name: Dr. Greer
    Date: 30/08/2017
    Total Items: Five blank keycards, not loaded with cryptographical access codes. Intended to be used by technicians to test new card readers.

    Input: One keycard
    Setting: Rough
    Output: A small pile of ground PVC plastic and approximately half a gram (0.5g) of magnetic composite material.

    Input: One keycard
    Setting: Coarse
    Output: One blank keycard, cut in half.

    Input: One keycard
    Output: One SCP Foundation identification card. The card appeared to belong to "John Doe" and was filled out with similar generic information.

    Input: One keycard
    Setting: Fine
    Output: One clearance level five keycard. The card was demagnetized and discarded.

    Input: One keycard
    Setting: Very Fine
    Output: One keycard, belonging to a nonexistent company, "Arwachenzelli". Upon insertion into a keycard reader, it will cause an immediate short-circuit.

    Test 914-0159
    Name: Dr. Mason
    Date: 07/09/2017
    Total Items: Five real-time location beacons, standard Foundation issue.
    Note: The area above and around SCP-914 was set with receivers before this test. In this test, all directional notation is relative to the central "Intake" and "Output" booths, i.e., a subject standing at the mainspring is facing "North".

    Input: One tracking beacon
    Setting: Rough
    Output: Small amounts of various scrap metals and other composite materials of tracking beacons.
    Path: Within the first 0.15 seconds, the signal was traced to move 3.41 meters "North" before turning exactly 91 degrees. Signal was lost after another 0.3 meters.

    Input: One tracking beacon
    Setting: Coarse
    Output: One tracking beacon, with battery and transceiver unit removed. No other visible damage.
    Path: While again initially traveling "North" for 3.41 meters, the tracking device remained functional for almost twice the amount of time as the first trial. This path appeared to follow the outer edges of the rectangular main body of SCP 914 before the signal was lost.
    Note: I wonder if there are set paths that each setting follows. - Dr. Mason

    Input: One tracking beacon
    Setting: 1:1
    Output: One unlabeled tracking beacon consistent with those used by Canadian counter-terrorist groups.
    Path: "North" for 3.41 meters. Signal then moves towards one of the "Southwestern" outer segments of SCP-914, where it repeatedly follows an equilateral triangle for 0.13 seconds before losing signal. Analysis of received signals shows a new signal retracing a path back to the booths.
    Note: Seriously, though. What is that first bit Northward for? I've checked the recordings, it does that in every test. Every. Single. One. - Dr. Mason

    Input: One tracking beacon
    Setting: Fine
    Output: One apparent tracking beacon, components consistent with Foundation-specific requirements. Tracking beacon is smaller than standard, with certain unknown components. Testing revealed it to be fully operational, although signal was lost mid-test, as the output ran a different operating system.
    Path: "North" for 3.63 meters. "South-southeast" for 0.7 meters. Accelerates in the opposite direction for four meters before signal cutoff.
    Note: So, I was talking to a colleague about my testing, and they said that the Fine output sounded familiar. Turns out the smaller beacon and the new OS are both prototypes right now. Guess we end up using them. - Dr. Mason

    Input: One tracking beacon
    Setting: Very Fine
    Output: One thin strip of translucent film, shown to be attachable with static cling. Discovered to be remarkable resilient for its size when D-1126 tore a fingernail pulling it off of the wall of the Output Booth. Currently unreadable.
    Path: "North" for 3.41 meters. Subsequently appears to reach all parts of SCP-914, although high speeds prevented receivers from accurately tracking the path.
    Note 1: Well, that was disappointing. At least I got a strip of fancy tape. Hopefully I'll be able to get something out of the prior results. - Dr. Mason
    Note 2: So, turns out if you let that tape stick itself to your hand, you can draw the paths of whatever it recorded. You also draw a legend, and what appears to be a menu screen. I'm going to try to get this put onto a D-Class to preserve my wrists. - Dr. Mason
    Note 3: Wow. So, not only did the new tracker record its own movements, it somehow recorded ALL of the movements. Of EVERYTHING that 914 has worked on over the last three months. I think I've finally gotten 914 to work with us, albeit with a lot of analysis involved. This is amazing. - Dr. Mason
    Note 4: [EXPLETIVE DELETED]. I thought it would make sense for ONCE. But no, it had to be messing with us again. One of my interns - sorry, Junior Researchers - found out that, if you superimpose all the paths from the tracker, you get a 3D image of the Foundation logo. It's pretty for art drawn in GPS, but it still makes this whole project meaningless. Piece of [EXPLETIVE DELETED] doesn't follow set paths. It does whatever it wants. - Dr. Mason
    Note 5: Dr. Mason has been placed on psychological leave due to apparent stress. Junior Researcher Chen has taken over. Analysis of the object paths taken will continue. - O5 Command


    Test log scp

    SCP-6820 Termination Test Log 01-205

    002-453 Drown it 
    Result# Failure, SCP-6820 appeared to grow gills and fins in the water it had been in the water for 12 hours without nothing happening to SCP-6820. SCP-6820 proceeded to break containment after.  "What type of Dumb**** will think SCP-6820 will Drown?"-Dr.Iron 
    005-794 put it in a room full of flames 
    Result# Failure,SCP-6820 was introduced to a room filled with flames the flames seem to damage SCP-6820 however 20 seconds after SCP-6820 got burned it adapted and regenerated very quickly afterwords the fire did absolutely nothing but tickle SCP-6820.   "Yeah you guys are the most dumbest idiotic and ignorant doctors I ever seen."-Dr.Johnson 
    006-001 Introduce SCP-173 to SCP-6820's cell 
    Result# Failure, When SCP-173 was introduced to SCP-6820's cell SCP-6820 didn't show any signs of fear and panic however it was filled with anger SCP-6820 grew very powerful Armour on it as SCP-6820 was completely bullet proof and fire proof SCP-173 attempted to attack SCP-6820 when it looked away SCP-6820 attempted to smack SCP-173 across the room with its tail SCP-173 was thrown across the room at 35 mph to a steel wall damaging SCP-173 SCP-173 attacked the most exposed part of SCP-6820 severely damaging SCP-6820. SCP-6820 pinned down SCP-173 to the ground then SCP-6820 made a big crack in SCP-173 SCP-6820 then starting crushing SCP-173 with its mouth and claws after 2 hours SCP-173 was taken out of containment cell.   "I'm quite surprised that SCP-6820 showed no fear of fighting SCP-173 due to the fact that SCP-682 was horrified of SCP-173 it's quite interesting to see 6820 pulled it off."-Dr.Yang 
    005-037 Introduce SCP-6820 to SCP-3444's cell 
    Result# Failure, When SCP-6820 was introduced to SCP-3444's cell they didn't do anything for 10 minutes after that SCP-6820 seem to speak verbally to SCP-3444 without any harm against each other SCP-6820 Then proceeded to say this "I don't take orders from a pathetic human!" as Dr. Yang said before "SCP-6820 please engage SCP-3444 for testing" SCP-3444 then said "Don't talk to me in that matter Dr. Yang I don't tolerate taking orders from anyone." Dr.Yang then said "Alright i'm going to put you in containment 6820"  SCP-6820 caused a containment breach after words thanks to SCP-3444 broke it out. "Well it looks like that SCP-6820 and SCP-3444 are allies now brilliant people brilliant * being Sarcastic* " - Dr. Johnson 
    Throw into the sun 2 times 
    Result# Failure, SCP-6820 was launched into space by a launcher SCP-6820 hit the sun but it came back on fire 2nd time it just grew wings and flew back on fire *Again* " Ok I think we need something worse than this something that will destroy it 100%"- Dr.Iron 
    Fire SCP-4567 at SCP-6820 
    Result# Failure,SCP-4567 was put on a stand SCP-6820 afterwords said this "Out of all the things you picked is a Rifle SCP man your Staff are a bunch of [DATA-EXPUNGED] idiots" SCP-4567 eventually started firing at SCP-6820 causing massive damage to 6820. SCP-6820 regenerated and kept going and charged at SCP-4567. SCP-4567 then fired incendiary bullets at SCP-6820. SCP-6820 then grew very powerful armor and became extremely resistant to SCP-4567. SCP-6820 smashed and crushed SCP-4567. SCP-4567 was taken out of containment causing a containment breach thanks to 6820. "Well I knew something like a "1 Shot M4 Carbine SCP" wasn't going to do anything to SCP-6820"- Dr.Wills 
    SCP-914 \

    People rejoiced, drank champagne, and Dima skated as if he was trying to forget himself. The President's speech was delivered, the chimes struck midnight. Dima drove up the hill with acceleration. Someone fired a salute and Dima, not expecting from himself, was distracted by these lights, and when he turned his head, a collision was inevitable.

    Flying down the mountain, on his way there was a girl who, obviously, did not know how to ride, but she certainly did not know about.

    Now discussing:

    Neatly trimmed grass, a few bushes in front of the house, flowers. - Like. - Yes, there is a taste.

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